EARLY ONSET MIDLIFE CRISIS

Here I am at 23, stuck in my early-onset midlife crisis… It’s November, and I just hit the one-month mark at my new job. Do I like it so far? Yes. But no one prepares you for how you’re going to feel during those first few months after summer ends. You start seeing the same Instagram posts from the college bars you used to go to, the same stupid ads about paying $20 to skip the line because everyone starts lining up at literally 6 p.m. Snapchat memories pop up from “a year ago today,” sent in the group chat with the same text every time: “I hate this. I miss you guys. I want to go back.” 

You see photos and videos of the team you were once on, activities you used to lead and take pride in, all continuing without you. It’s an out-of-body experience—like being thrown four years back in time. You’re suddenly living with your parents again, telling them where you’re going and who you’re seeing, lying in your childhood bedroom feeling… stuck. 

And honestly? It seems like everyone’s spiraling officially hitting their own versions of this early-onset mid-life crisis. Most of us are working 9–5s, already depressed, trying to adjust to adulthood living far apart from everyone now, and even simple things, like hanging out, require calendar coordination weeks in advance. The WORST PART if you ask me, is that it’s completely unrealistic to watch Love Island together, considering the episodes come out every single night. 

Currently, I have the most friends I’ve ever had, yet I feel the most lonely. I miss not seeing someone every time I go to run errands or grab food. I miss being able to bounce around at the bar from table to table because you know every person there. I feel envious of my younger self who had all the freedom in the world, no responsibilities and the ability to hang out with whatever group of friends matched her mood in that current moment, whenever she pleased. 

No one prepares you for this life shift—this feeling of starting over. Life keeps moving, and there you are, standing still, learning to navigate it all again. It’s like being a baby learning to walk, thrown out into the world to figure things out on your own. 

So, the real question is: what do we do now, as 23-year-olds navigating this new chapter? For me, I’ve started by meeting my friends for pickleball (yes, like a grandma), planning Dancing with the Stars watch parties, and renting Airbnbs so we can all be together again, without parents this time. But what no one tells you is that college truly is the only time when everyone you love is in one place at once. 

My basketball coach once told me on senior day in high school, “Look around and take it all in, because this is probably the only time that you and all your teammates will ever play together again—this specific group.” And he was right. People grow up. People grow apart. You stick to your smaller circle because it’s easier. Why make an effort with everyone when you already see your closest friends more regularly compared to others. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. 

I never truly understood it until now. I thought back to my senior year of high school—it made me sad for a while after I graduated. Then, during my freshman year of college, I joined the field hockey team.I built new friendships, I made new teammates and as we drew close we shared secrets about guys, went out together, and suddenly I grew less sad about high school, and more excited about the new girls I would now call my best friends. Now, four years later, I’m in that same place again—feeling sad, no new team to fill the void, but reminding myself that this is just how life goes. 

You have to live each chapter fully, as CRINGEY as that sounds. Looking back at college I can honestly say I said yes to everything. I met a great group of people. I had some crazy years (some that are probably best they're coming to an end), but most importantly when I think back every memory is simply happy. 

Yeah life isn’t what it used to be right now, but I know that soon, I’ll start feeling comfortable in this new chapter of life too. 

And just like that this applies to every aspect and new chapter of your life. Every few years things change. People grow, and there you are again—trying to navigate something you’ve never had to before. Whether this is just for post-grad life or anyone going through an early-onset midlife crisis, just know there’s a way to take charge and not be complacent or repetitive. Life is exciting. Wouldn’t it be boring to do the same thing every weekend for the rest of your life—stuck in the same damn chapter forever? 

Whether you’re 23 like me or 43 with loud kids, and an annoying husband there’s always a way to knock yourself out of a funk. Maybe that’s saying yes to things—even on the weekdays after work. I know it’s hard, especially after a long day (even though I’m remote, lol). All you want to do is lock yourself in your room, turn on the TV, and have no one even look in your direction. At least, that’s me. But honestly? That shit just makes me feel worse. 

Get your ass up. Go to a workout class with your friends. Go on a hot girl walk. Get drunk at a sip-and-paint night. Plan a reality TV party. Or meet up to simply talk shit and eat junk food. Whatever it is, I’ve learned that isolating yourself, not putting yourself out there, and staying complacent does way more harm than good. 

Post-grad only sucks if you let it—and I’m realizing that more and more each day. 

This new chapter is on you. Don’t let it drag you into a hole. Grab it by the balls, and keep embracing this next phase of life. Don’t let it turn into an early-onset midlife crisis.