Books, Sourdough, and That Time Bethenny Frankel Accidentally Changed My Life

Last year, I was watching Real Housewives of New York for the umpteenth time—I like background noise, what can I say?—when I had an epiphany. It was the beginning of Season 3 and we were witnessing the demise of Bethenny Frankel and Jill Zarin’s iconic friendship. While plenty had brewed behind the scenes leading up to it, their friendship ultimately boiled down to a heated voicemail Bethenny left Jill, telling her to ‘get a hobby’ instead of worrying about her relationship with her then-boyfriend. 

When retelling this story to her friends and fellow castmates, Jill kept bringing it up, completely outraged and in utter disbelief that anyone could suggest she didn’t have hobbies. And there I was sitting there kicking my feet and laughing as I yelled at the TV, “but you don’t have a hobby!” I mean really, what did this woman do aside from shopping and going out? I like to do those things too, but are they really hobbies? 

And then that’s when the thought hit me… do I have any hobbies? Aside from consuming media—mostly in the form of trashy reality TV (and video games!)—at least.

…Like, not really? I have superficial hobbies re: shopping and going out. And I’m just a lady, so of course I love doing my hair and makeup—I had even been doing my own nails at home for a couple of years now (shoutout to TikTok University). But while I enjoy these activities, to me these things don’t really count; I don’t think keeping up with your appearance qualifies as a hobby. Or maybe that’s some patriarchal unlearning I need to work through in another article…

Anyway, I tried to think of anything that didn’t involve media consumption—whether through TV or social media, or endless rounds of Mario Kart and Guitar Hero.

Does smoking weed count? Nah, didn’t think so.

I used to love reading. Growing up, I devoured books all the way through high school, ace-ing English because I’d blow through the course material. But after majoring in journalism (and minoring in sociology and gender studies), where the majority of the syllabi were—you guessed it!—academic reading, and the last thing I wanted to do in my free time was pick up a book. 

And at first, it was a solid excuse… For maybe a year post-grad. But at that point, nearly three years had passed, my Kindle was collecting dust, and despite saving constant book recommendations from TikTok and my IRL friends… I still hadn’t picked up a single one.

I used to love baking. An interest that first sparked after catching countless Barefoot Contessa episodes on Food Network after school. It turned out I actually had a knack for it, which I discovered after taking a Baking elective in high school. 

Shortly after I was turning out banana breads, kitchen sink cookies and bundt cakes left and right. But my hyperfixation didn’t last long once I realized that the more I baked, the more dishes I had to wash. As it is, washing dishes is quite literally the opposite of a hobby to me.

I used to love writing too. I realized this pretty young—bouncing between teacher, singer, and author whenever someone asked about my dream career for when I “grow up.” Shocker—I never really grew up, but don’t tell Mrs. Schwartz that. I wrote a lot throughout my academic career, even being pushed to write for my school newspaper in high school based on my essays (shoutout to Mr. Vega), which ultimately helped me decide my college path. But the same reason I had stopped reading was the same for writing too—formal education had drained my passion for it. 

So a moment after calling out Jill Zarin, I realized Bethenny Frankel was actually calling me out. Laying in bed stoned, rewatching the same show with some crackers and Brie was a great time… but I needed to get a hobby.

I decided to turn my TV off and open TikTok. And I know what you’re thinking—no, I didn’t doom scroll for hours again. Instead, I went to my bookmarked content and pulled up a few saved videos from “BookTok,” the glorious corner of the app where creators obsess over books and drop endless recommendations. I downloaded a book. And I read it.

A couple of weeks later, I had finished reading my fifth book. Granted, I’m not claiming to have read the most profound or intellectually enriching texts—it’s a whole lot of throbbing warmths and thrusting members in poorly constructed fantasy worlds over here. But God dammit if this vampire professor forbidden romance isn’t reigniting an excitement I forgot could exist within the pages of a book. And that meant I could actually say I enjoy reading in my free time without feeling like a fraud.

Now a little over a year later, I’m proud to say that I’ve stuck with reading—clocking just under four books so far in 2025—and I’ve even gotten back into my baking grind. Right now, my hyperfixation lies in sourdough bread. And no, I don’t know why I decided to throw myself back into it with the most complicated bread to make, but as I sit with a piece of warm, buttered toast, I’d say it’s well worth it. 

Wait—so technically right now as I write this I’m flexing three new hobbies at once: reading through the article I wrote while eating bread I baked. 

So thank you Bethenny Frankel, for pushing me to get off my ass and get a hobby.