DON’T WAIT FOR THE PERFECT TIME
Is waiting for the “perfect time” actually holding you back?
“And then I blinked. And I’m 50. That’s crazy. Time flies. I wish I could say that I’ve done more with my 50 years. My amazing daughter, though- she just made senior partner. Apparently, the youngest to ever do so. And she is one tough, brilliant attorney. But I never made it to law school. I never got to see Paris in the spring. I never got to stay over in Yellowstone because it was too crowded, or well, no, just that I put things off, and I keep putting them off. Then I would say, “Oh well, do it next year,” and then next year would come, and I would say, “Oh, next year, next year,” and I don't want to do that anymore.”
I was recently watching Here on Netflix, and this scene stood out to me so much that I kept thinking about it days later. I thought of what my life could look like when I turn 50. I thought about the people I’m currently friends with. Will they still be in my life when I’m 50? There are so many people I have yet to meet. Where will I be living? Will I still live in NYC? Will I regret anything? Will I regret not going to that concert? Will I regret not telling that person how I feel? Will I regret not going to London in the winter?
We’re always telling ourselves, “I’ll just wait till the perfect time,” “the timing’s not right,” “I’m not ready,” because we’re either scared to do it, or that we’re not good enough to do it. But is that deflection, masked as protection, actually holding us back instead? Are we holding ourselves back?
It puts things into perspective. I don’t want to be at my 50th birthday party, about to blow out my candles and be full of regret and yearning for what I could and could not have done. I don’t want to look back at my life and wish for what I could have been. I think about times I’ve wanted to do something and didn't, I always think, “It’s not the right time yet.” But what if the timing is never right? Do I just never do it, or do I go for what I want and take a chance on it?
I think sometimes we tell ourselves not to go for something or not to do something, because we’re actually scared. Scared that it won't work out, scared we’ll be rejected, scared it’ll be a mistake? But at what point do we stop letting fear hold us back?
Everyone is so scared of getting older; our previous generations have been scared of getting older. People are scared of growing up and regretting never doing things they loved. Can we start to get rid of that stigma? Can we stop being scared to age and do the things we love and are passionate about?
I think we should all take a chance on ourselves and start to do things we’re scared of at least a couple of times in our lives. We have to have more trust in ourselves and believe we can do things that are scary. If you want to move across the country, do it. If you want to ask that person out, do it. The worst that can happen is that things don't work out. But at least now you know that you tried it and it wasn’t for you. It’s better to know something did or didn’t work out instead of turning 50 and, as you’re about to blow out your candles, you’re left wondering what if.