if you love it, who cares
As a girl in her 20s, I've noticed the immense amount of pressure we can put on ourselves. Why is putting yourself out there so scary? The never-ending thoughts of not being “good enough,” “it's not attainable,” or the fear of judgment from others can keep us from doing the things we actually want to do. Whether it's a new job, sharing your art, starting a new relationship, moving to a new city, or simply doing something outside of your comfort zone alone, the idea of not going for what you want can rob you of an experience that could shape you into who you need to be.
Maybe your 20s would be less stressful if you allowed yourself to mess up. For some reason, after graduating, I felt expected to know everything and have it all together, making me feel like there was no space or time to try something new. But the timeline society sets for us isn't real.
In a time when social media has completely taken over, we have trend after trend, and not just when it comes to material things. There are trends surrounding hobbies, lifestyles, physical appearance, careers, relationships, and even what your life is “supposed” to look like. It can be hard to block out all that noise and take things one day at a time. As the saying goes, “Rome wasn't built in a day.” It sure wasn't, and neither is the life I dream of having.
I also feel like your 20s are about finding yourself. We're constantly changing, and you are most definitely not the same person you were even a year ago. You're exploring a whole new version of yourself, and sometimes the only way to figure out what you like is to actually try things.
When I was younger, all I wanted to do was dye my hair crazy colors. My mom never let me. I didn't understand why; I thought she was just being a hater. As soon as I turned 18, I decided I was going to dye my hair. Six sessions later… I had silver hair. Cute? Yes. The state of my hair? Fried.
So, yeah, that idea is dead. But the point is, something I thought I wanted so badly ended up being something I never want to do again. I would have never known that unless I had tried it, even if someone I have so much respect for, like my mom, didn't approve of it. Sometimes you just have to do it, even if it doesn't turn out the way you imagined.
Another thing I'm learning in my 20s is being okay with being misunderstood. When it comes to making choices about your own life, it's okay to choose what you know will make you happy, even if not everyone gets it. That's why having a good support system matters. You need people who understand that life isn't always going to bring you wins. People who allow you to explore this journey we call life without making you feel like every decision needs to make sense to them. People that won't drain your social battery.
Overall, I'm learning to give myself grace, celebrate all my wins, big or small, and not put too much pressure on every decision I make. I'm learning not to take life so seriously and to actually live in the moment. To appreciate the stage of life I'm currently in and take a lot of pictures and document all the possible mistakes I may make, and hopefully just look back and laugh, as I do with my crazy silver hair.
And if you love it? Who cares?
