WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS…

I made it. 365 days since living abroad and I couldn’t be happier! While I originally was hoping to pen some profound long essay a la “Dear New York,” I decided to make my life simpler and share a few things that I’ve learned and loved (or hated) in this last year.

(1) It’s okay to rest: we all know the Spaniards are famous for their afternoon siestas, and honestly, huge fan. Not only is the idea of “laziness” just not a thing here, people are encouraged to rest in the middle of the day to ensure there’s no burn out, and we can enjoy our friends and family. In New York I constantly felt exhausted no matter how much sleep I got, but here I feel reinvigorated and wide awake. 

(2) Americans talk VERY loud: naturally we had lots of friends visit in the last year but I never realized how truly loud of talkers people from the states are until living in Barcelona for a few months prior to their visits. It’s almost like they can’t help themselves. You see the reels online all the time of Europeans making fun of how loud people from the U.S. are, but really it's true. Americans are always fighting to be heard or to be known as the best of something, but because Europe isn’t an overworked society, people here don’t need to fight to prove anything. While Barcelona is a bustling city, even walking around feels significantly less hectic and loud than New York. 

(3) I miss my dryer: one of the ONLY things I miss about the states is having a dryer. Here, laundry day is dependent on the weather. And honestly, nothing beats taking out clean warm sheets from the dryer, or a nice hot towel post-shower to dry off with. R.I.P. dryer. And their reason for not having many? Conserving energy. A dryer takes up almost 3x as much energy as a washer, and here in Spain (and Europe in general), their consumption is much less than the U.S. 

(4) I’m in the best shape of my life: aside from the overpriced influencer workout classes in NYC, I also just never had time or energy to work out when living in Brooklyn. Now, because of the time difference, I have almost a full day of work to myself before my team gets online, which allows me a 2 hour break to take a yoga class and treat myself to lunch. The yoga allows me to stretch after sitting for 4-6 hours on my laptop, and of course allows an easy impact on my old lady joints. Because the city is so easily accessible I also either walk everywhere (up to 40min away), and even bike! Yes, I am an electric bike user now. 

(5) I never want to own a car again: the hassle of city life with a car is not something I miss. Not having one forces me to instead use my Bicing membership, or even walk, which means I’m moving my body even more than ever.

(6) Older women are valued: while in the states we put women out to pasture when they basically turn 30 (or have a kid – whichever comes first), but in Europe and Spain especially, older women are valued and still considered beautiful and even sexy. Having joined Juno House upon arrival, I was elated to see so many middle-aged women in their 40’s, 50’s and even 60’s who had spunk, a chic fashion sense, and a keen business eye. 

(7) I’m learning to re-love my body: aside from being more active in my day-to-day life, just the idea of womanhood and our bodies is different in Europe than it is in the U.S. When you go to the beach, it’s not just the model type bodies who are in bikinis or even topless, enjoying the Mediterranean sun. It’s bodies of all types from large, skinny, no ass, big booty, small titties, big knockers, and every age range. My new favorite thing to help with my wellness is to go out to the beach in the mornings and swim. When I’m there, its not just me sitting topless enjoying the morning rays, but abuelas left and right. And instead of shying away or being disturbed, I feel even more empowered. Because if they’re out there in their 60’s and 70’s with the girls on full display, then why shouldn’t I?

(8) I feel safer in Spain: for our first Barcelona Thanksgiving we went around the table and wrote on a piece of paper what we were thankful for. Most of the people from the U.S. they wrote that they were thankful that they felt safe here in Barcelona. While we all kind of laughed it off, you could tell there was more to be said about why that is. From the first moment I stepped foot in this city I was surprised at how safe I truly felt. For someone who has been afraid of her own shadow since high school when it comes to my safety as a woman, and as a Black woman, in a city environment, I felt so relieved at how safe I felt. I feel safe to walk alone at night. Sure, like every city, there are some scary parts or a bit more dangerous parts of the city, but coming from living in NYC for 15 years, this was nothing. 

(9) I can make friends in my mid-30’s: I am a friend kinda gal. Maybe I don’t see them that much IRL but they were still the kinda friends that I would FaceTime every morning before work, even if they only lived a few neighborhoods or boroughs away. Everything just felt far in New York. In Barcelona, it feels like a small/mid-sized neighborhood town. It’s a beautiful city too, so its fun to actually travel to other people’s homes! Barcelona is also a very big outdoor city, which I also fucking love. So there’s fun and beautiful parks, beer gardens, rooftops, whatever to meet up with friends. Joining Juno House was such a great way to meet friends too. The friends I have now are a mixture of Juno House, Bumble for Friends (shout out Jae and Juli! My only two BFF dates lol), and then friends of those friends. And those from our neighborhood coffee shop. 

I was stresssssssed when I thought about making friends now. I had spent so much time exploring and defining who I was when it came to New York, but now I was faced with figuring out how to present this self to Barcelona, and would it be receptive? Leo jokes that I’ve made 20 friends in the last year, which I don’t think is that far from the truth. But it’s been fun to get to know new people. While of course there’s so much I’m sure I can still learn about my US friends, but it's exciting to meet new people and share new experiences. In the US, I didn’t really have friends from other countries. Sure their parents or grandparents were from here or there, but no one who had grown up and lived in a whole other country themselves. Here, Barcelona is like its own little melting pot. Which has been fun to explore. 

(10) Affordable Healthcare: while healthcare seems like a necessary human right, in the U.S. of A. that is just not a thing. While I was able to get relatively inexpensive healthcare in the states, I was always terrified if I was ever sick, or had a health emergency. I wasn’t insured when I tore my achilles back in October 2021, and ended up having to come out of pocket $10,000 to pay for my surgery…that allowed me to WALK again. I was thankfully, fortunate enough to have friends and family who helped me out, but the fear of knowing that if I hadn’t I may not ever be able to walk normally again was stressful AF. When we arrived in Barcelona and officially had our insurance here up and running, my husband and I both made appointments for an overall physical exam (free of charge), that ultimately revealed a 10cm tumor on my uterus (in the states we call it a fibroid). The surgery and follow-ups were completely covered by insurance as well and the relief of even not having to pay for an ambulance trip to the hospital when we had to go to the ER the day after I got home, has been such a relief. I remember one time when I had to take an ambulance in Brooklyn to the hospital and it cost me about $800 for the less than 15-minute ride. One time, the ER gave me 2 ibuprofen that cost me $200, after I tore through my achilles. Being able to have affordable healthcare has honestly been a life-changer. 

(11) Work-Life Balance is soooo much better: as I mentioned, I was just perpetually exhausted when living in New York. It always felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day to be able to get everything done, and I would constantly wake up with a dread of all the things I needed to do that day, but didn’t feel like I had energy to complete. Since my team was online at 10am ET, and I wanted to have time to myself in the mornings, I would often wake up no later than 7am ET to walk my dog, feed him, myself, coffee, and sort through emails. When work was extremely busy, I found myself waking up and online by either 5/6am ET, or even working until 11pm at night (even after starting at 7am). While the move to BCN was for a lot of different reasons, the one I was most excited about was my work schedule. Because we’re 6 hours ahead of East Coast, I can either get all of my work done and the team all prepared before 2pm GMT+1 even hits, OR now that I’m more caught up when I log off for the day, I can sleep in and start work at noon or even 2pm. It gives me freedom to meet friends for a coffee, or even have a work lunch, without stressing about all of the unanswered emails in my inbox. 

The weight of anxiety and stress that has left my chest has made me enjoy not just my job again but life as well. Not that I have in any way perfected the work-life balance structure yet, but I’ve come pretty damn close! 

My husband and I joked all of last year that we were in a period of “transitioning,” and while we are still getting used to our new lifestyle and flow of things, we are slowly moving out of the transitionary period and into the enjoyment period. 

We finally landed our dream apartment (with a two year lease), mastered the art of the siesta, started building community, and are looking forward to what the next few years bring. While no country is perfect of course, Spain comes pretty close in terms of the type of lifestyle we’re looking to live. While my younger years were spent in Vermont, and my 20’s were spent running around like a mad woman in New York City, I’m excited to live my 30’s in a place that values the slow life. I’m still making things up as I go but for now, I’m perfectly content with what I’ve come up with so far. 

<3